Nominations for the Mary Henry Humanitarian Award are due this Friday, and as always, the process makes me think about my friend Mary. A media buyer at the Richards Group, Mary was a tornado in a 5’2” frame. As a new rep in Dallas, seventeen years ago, I had a lot of business with Mary. She would call me and we would go over competitive in as many as 5 markets at a time.
Which was incredibly intimidating.
She was very patient with me while I argued with her to raise a rating by a point here, half a point there, listening to me explain the ins and outs of the Jackson, MS market, which was new to me, but she had been buying for 10 years. She took every meeting, returned every call, considered my rationale even if she didn’t accept it.
She was buying Houston at the same time… I was selling Harlingen. Big difference. She treated each with equal importance.
We shared a best friend. That’s not always the easiest thing to do. Sheila and Mary had been friends for years, and I was the new kid in town. Mary just accepted that I was part of the scenery. I’m not sure that the much younger version of me would have been as gracious if our positions had been reversed.
Several years later, I was firmly entrenched on the DREAM Fund Board. While I chaired the volunteer committee Mary happily chaired the decorating committee for Night in Monte Carlo. I didn’t envy her. Somehow the decorating committee also became the crew who was responsible for the tear down after the event was over. Mary also donated auction items, some that she made herself. She used her influence in the media buying community to get her stations to donate auction items as well.
Fast forward to when Mary was diagnosed with cancer. Sure it was scary, but I just thought she would get better. Probably because Mary never complained. Not once. Even when she was no longer able to eat. A lover of good food, she was relinquished to receiving her nutrition from a tube. Despite that, she still made an appearance at industry events and happy hours. Mary’s cancer spread. It was in her lymph nodes and had moved from her throat to below her shoulders, and I finally understood how serious this was.
Three years into her battle, she was struggling to cover her medical expenses. I didn’t know that because she told me, I knew because Sheila told me and asked me to talk to her about applying for assistance from DREAM Fund. So that New Year’s Eve, I sat on the couch in Sheila’s living room and talked to Mary about DREAM Fund. It was completely confidential I told her, nobody would know, and in typically Mary fashion, she said no. Repeatedly. I was a salesperson and I was determined to convince her that she needed to do this. Finally I said “Well, what if you did it and we told everybody? Maybe spread the word about what DREAM Fund does? Mary’s eyes lit up. She loved the idea. She was going to tell everybody how DREAM Fund helped her. Mary was a Leo after all. For the record, so am I. And tell people she did. Anybody who would listen. She made a video, she wrote letters, she was on our website, and our promotional pieces.
By that fall, we all knew the inevitable was about to happen. It was no longer a question of if, but when. Mary’s room in the hospital was constantly manned, a schedule that was set up by Sheila and filled in with volunteers from DREAM Fund. Mary’s friends came from all over to say their goodbyes. Upon entering her room, she would ask them if they had sent in their auction items for the upcoming Casino Night. If they hadn’t done so, they did so in short order. Mary died in November 2004. In typical Mary fashion, she asked that donations be made to DREAM Fund instead of sending flowers.
Sometimes I worry that the people who are new to our industry in Dallas won’t know about Mary, or understand why there is an award named after her. And then I realize that as long as there are those who give tirelessly of themselves, they will know her spirit. ~ Juleann Pasqualini, Mary’s friend.
to nominate someone for the Mary Henry Humanitarian Award, please click on the menu tab for criteria and additional information.
